“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.”
Meister Eckhart
I have absolutely nothing in common with Meister Eckhart: Eckhart was born in 1260 in Hochheim (Thuringia). He entered the Dominican Order quite early, and received most of his education in the Studium Generale in Cologne that Albert the Great had founded in 1248.
But I thank God for his liberating quote on prayer.
I think life has been my greatest teacher when it comes to the importance of prayer. When faced with darkness and overwhelming life events I found prayer.
I had always loved my Catholic up bringing, the beautiful architecture of our Churches, the soaring joys of the school choir, the Crimmond in three-part harmony and the sense of oneness when gathered together for Mass. Sweet and beautiful and rousing and rewarding.
It was mother’s unexpected, early death from Brain Cancer which threw me hard against the damp, cold stone walls of life. It was there that I learnt to pray.
I began a highly personal daily conversation with God. I pleaded. I begged and I raged. I wanted answers and reasons for this unbearable sadness.
There was no relief in this interchange but there was a daily, gradually and continual conversation with God about why he did what he did and how he could be better at it. In these moments the pain eased, the darkness lifted slightly, and rage subdued. Briefly. I began to draw closer to my God. I began to feel there was a power in the universe which was beyond my powerlessness and grief. I sensed that God was listening to me.
I began to heal quietly. I began to feel other feelings, not just frozen numbness. I began to say, thank you for all the sweetness that was there, and I had not noticed. Sun rise and the yellow, yellow of daffodils and the taste of salt on my skin after swimming in the ocean. I noticed the scent of Cecil Brunner roses and the shimmering colour of Sydney Harbour. Slowly, oh very slowly I realised that I liked praying. I really enjoyed sharing my fears and doubt and dreams. Gratitude came very slowly but it changed everything.
I was so grateful that my mother was my mother. Thank you, God, well done.
I have absolutely nothing in common with Meister Eckhart but every time I come across that quote, I think, I know that man and am grateful for his insight.
Virginia Ryan